Day 2

Well, it is really Day 3 already but I want to tell you about my first experience of injecting myself which happened at 8pm last night.

A few girls I know have been through IVF and had some pointers for me about doing the injections, and the one I used last night was to take the loaded pen out of the fridge 15 mins before using it. This apparently makes it closer to room temperature which means you don't feel the cold rush going into your body which can be quite uncomfortable.

So at 7.45pm I took it out of the fridge and set myself up - alcohol swab, new needle tip, sharps box ready. I turned the dial up to 200, which is my dose for the next 4 days and tried to wait patiently for 15 mins, but I had no hope. I was anxious and a bit jittery, and wanted to get it over and done with, so at about 7.52pm I decided it was now or never, I thought I could do it so I picked up the alcohol swab, cleaned the pen, cleaned my skin, correctly applied the new needle tip and was ready. I pinched my skin out just like they showed me to and held the pen.................... but I couldn't put it in. I was frightened! And my hubby was at work so there was nobody to turn to, I had to do this. Now.

I took a little breather for 30 seconds, regrouped and thought about what this meant to my recipient. I thought about her happiness, pictured her smiling and laughing and all of a sudden I had the urge just to stick it in, so with gritted teeth I ever so slowly inserted the needle, then slowly released the drug. I waited 5 seconds, as instructed, before pulling it out and I was done! That was everything they had told me, I did it all correctly and then the strangest thing happened - there was blood. This, I was not prepared for. I know it sounds dumb not to expect to see blood from a needle wound, but they had prepared me so well on what to do, every single step, and stopping the blood was not in their instructions. So I went from a feeling of being confident in knowing I did it all right, to running around like a mad woman trying to find a tissue. It seems so silly but my mind just didn't expect it. Tonight, I will have a tissue on hand ready to go, ha ha.

Another funny thing that happened was that as soon as I was done my son woke up and got out of bed, he came up to the kitchen where I was and just looked at me, like "are you ok mum?" so I gave him a big monster cuddle and tucked him back into bed. It felt like he knew what just happened, and that he was giving me some love and support because hubby couldn't be here to do it. My little champion ♥

So round 1 went well, not really any pain at all, and it has me far more confident for tonight's needle. Speaking of, I should get to it now. Goodnight all.